The Big-O Question: Did I Orgasm? | FEMNA

The Big-O Question: Did I Orgasm? | FEMNA

When we talk about sex, the end goal is always to orgasm. The orgasm is important not only for the rewarding feel-good sensation but because the opiate receptors that are induced create a stronger and intimate connection with your partner. For some lucky women, the orgasm is easily achieved – you go girls! But some of us are constantly trying to find the right recipe for firework explosion and sometimes are even asking, “Did I orgasm?”

My boyfriend always wants to know if I came during our playtime to make sure that my needs have been properly taken care of, but sometimes I am left with the answer, “Maybeeee?” It feels good and I definitely enjoy it, but it isn’t always such a direct response like, say, a man experiences. The clitoral orgasm definitely has a peak and a release but the inner orgasms aren’t always so cut and dry – sometimes there doesn’t seem to be an end and I could go on forever. So, the question remains:

How can women tell if they really had an orgasm?


Number one, always trust your feelings. This is probably a no-brainer, but if it feels good, whatever you’re doing, keep doing it. Despite what some critics would say, there is no such thing as too much pleasure – specifically in the bedroom. Women are prone to having multiple orgasm so even if you aren’t sure if one hit you, my advice is to keep on going – “don’t stop till you get it ‘til you get enough.”

The second feeling you should be aware of is how well the water slide is lubricated down below. When a woman gets turned on, her vaginal tracks prepare for sex by lubricating the vaginal walls just like when the saliva glands lubricate the mouth when you smell something good – it’s woohoo-watering. And when your G-spot is continuously tickled, your body feels good and your mind goes blank, your yaya releases fluid or cum.  This might not be the big clitoris bang (which, if you haven’t felt it, I recommend exploring yourself how that feels) but it is a reaction of an orgasm whether that be big or small – orgasms are actually varied and don’t necessarily feel the same. So, when it gets really wet and wild, your partner should feel proud.


Sex brings on all kinds of sounds but the one that will really speak to you and your partner is the sound of water works. A squeaking or sloshing sound means lots of fluid accumulation which points to one thing – pleasure. And if you are enjoying yourself, speak up – don’t be afraid to show it. Sounds are helpful in guiding your partner towards understanding your pleasure points and your desired pace.


Even if you don’t orgasm, sex should feel good. At the end of the party, you should feel a bit buzzed, because essentially, orgasms mimic an opiate high. And if you still aren’t entirely sure, ask your partner to keep going with their hands. Being bold pays off in the bedroom. A little clitoral love is always a good idea. And, you can teach your partner how your body works by showing them the way. Ultimately, sex should be about enjoying yourself and partner, so worrying less about an orgasm and more about each other’s pleasure will surely make it easier to achieve the firework show.

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Annie is the Content Creator at Femna as well as a freelance writer in the cannabis, architecture, wine and travel industries. She enjoys the smell of an early, dewy morning surrounded by redwood trees upon a mountain top. There she thrives.

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